Wed instead of Tue; Qns instead of Ans

Today, I had a good one-on-one time with my mentor, FL. It felt like 'Tuesdays with Morrie', as there were several similarities. Both were knowledgeable, both were enlightening, and both were lecturers. More importantly, you always walked away each evening as if a new dimension has been opened up. 

We talked about our jobs. He shared about his and the reasons why he chose this path of doing part-time lecturing and part-time training. I told him - it's easy for me to hang on to a job for the 1st 2 years. From there onwards, things could be uncertain, as I might not find opportunities of growth anymore. Instead of giving me an answer, he asked - Where do I see myself 10 years down the road? What do I want to be then? And if so, what am I doing now so that I can achieve my dream? How is each step that I take - going to bring me closer to my dream?

We talked about my job and the reasons that I have left my earlier job. Having been onto my 3rd job, I shared the reasons that led me to seek for greener pastures. Instead of focussing on the push & pull, he asked - What values do I embrace? How can the job enable me to achieve my values and objectives? How can the job help me achieve the system and culture I want to build for myself?

Today, instead of getting answers, I received more questions. Maybe I need to take a step back before I can take 3 steps forward. Today, I took that backward step.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a 2004 Americann romantic fantasy film about an estranged couple who have each other erased from their memories. The film won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay and was lauded by critics as one of the best and most thought-provoking films of 2004.

Joel Barish wanted to erase his ex-lover, Clementine Kruczynski, from his memory. After all, Clementine has seemingly moved on with her life and has forgotten all about him already. He approached Dr Howard who has invented a process that can erase a specific event of one's life whilst he/she sleeps. As his memories are being erased, Joel finds himself revisiting them in reverse. Upon seeing happier times of his relationship with Clementine that they experienced earlier in the relationship, he struggles to preserve at least some memories of them. It was through this process of loss that he discovers that he still wants to preserve the beautiful memories of them being together.

I asked myself - Would I do these? My answer would be a strong NO, because whether these are happy or sad events, each of these events made me who I am today. And by going through these events, I have learnt how to react to them. Even if it has not made me a better person, it has made me a stronger person.

Each of us has a past that made each invididual unique. Without our past, we are just like a piece of blank paper - clean, spotless and unfulfilled. I definitely had my papers filled up and am glad for that. And should I experience lacunar amnesia one day, maybe that is why I have my blog to save me.

Rango - is it merely a cartoon?

Rango is a 2011 computer animated Western comedy film that stars an ordinary chameleon called Rango who accidentally winds up in the town of Dirt that is in desperate need of a new sheriff.

Whilst we acknowledged that it is a cartoon, about half the jokes are meant for adults and the script contains a deeper meaning that requires our comprehension and reflection. My post today will focus on the relationship between the Mayor and the creatures of Dirt, an Old West town populated by desert animals.

The population of Dirt are worried about their survival, as they came to realization that their water reserves are dangerously low. Everyone fears not about their daily water intake, but also about the existence of the hawk and Rattlesnake Jake, the snake. Rango killed the hawk, and in return, was given the title of Sheriff. But there was a deeper truth that Rango and Beans soon discovered - that the Mayor has been buying all the nearby land around, leading to a decrease in the water levels of their current town. The Mayor controls the water, and as a result, creates fear in everyone. But no one can prove the Mayor's wrongdoings. And when the Mayor discovered that Rango is close to figuring out what his true plans are, he called Rattlesnake Jake to humiliate him and run him out of town.

Just how relevant is this to the political scene in Singapore? We have our fair share of Rangos, but today, they are either silenced, bankrupt or dead.

How do you lead by example?

I always believe in leading my example, maybe because the society has instilled such a value in me. If you want someone to do it, you have to do it yourself. If you want to encourage someone to run a marathon, you have to run it yourself first. If you want someone to work hard for his exams, you have to prove that you have done that before.

Therefore, I was pretty annoyed recently at the lack of this value - shown by the entire 'white' party. Why keep everyone in suspense when you know the actual date to vote? Why can't you allow others to plan ahead whilst you continue to plan ahead in secrecy? Why is there a lack of foresight as you focus on little things that do not matter? How do we expect us to listen to you when you can't even allow us to plan beyond 3 weeks?

Now, I know that 7th May is the date. Now, I know that my plans are screwed. They failed to tell me in advance. How can I not blame them when the leaders are not open with us? How can I not point my finger at them when they want us to have faith in them? How can I not trust them for the next 5 years when they led me to believe that guessing is a fun game to play?

When I look for models to follow, I am inspired by those who lead by example. Apparently, as the whites continue to be clueless with us, I now believe that we can use the phrase as clueless as the whites.

What is satisfaction?

I am not sure what satisfaction really means. There is no scale of measurement for me to gauge satisfaction. So, I was left wondering recently - what exactly quantifies satisfaction?

I felt satisfied recently for giving a humorous speech at the recent toastmasters chapter meeting. It could have been due to the bonus of me winning the 'Best Speaker' ribbon. But more importantly, I knew I have given my best, I have shared my best with the audience and the final performance of my speech commensurates with my process of preparing for the speech.

I felt satisfied recently for leading a fruitful day - for leading each day with purpose and excitement. For taking efforts in the things I do and not trying to procastinate any matters that I could be holding on to.

I felt satisfied recently for being able to give myself some attention, such as attending toastmasters to develop, creating a blogpost to reflect, tidying my finance to balance up.

What is satisfaction? I can't really measure it, but it could be a combination of efforts, fulfilment and self-purpose.

It wasn't EASY

For the past month, it has been a trying time for me, but I am glad that I managed to give my best shot. It wasn't easy, because I have been getting out of my comfort zone.

Work: My boss, AL, told me that I need to buck up. He felt that I had slipped into the comfort zone. There is a need to get out of my comfort zone. And only when I am uncomfortable, then I am charting new territories and in the process, increasing my 'comfort zone' area. It wasn't easy, because I had to respond to his call-for-action. It wasn't easy, because I had to learn his expectations.

Career Advancement: Maybe it was the shelling I received that gave me a wake-up call. I had earlier thought that I could settle into this stable job and concentrate on other areas, such as personal development. But I now have to think about what my next step will be. It wasn't easy, because I had to craft my cover letters and resumes. It wasn't easy, because I am not sure what lies ahead of me.

Fitness: I had been too easy on myself, such as the oily food I east and my non-existent fitness regime. My age crossing the big 3 was an excuse I had given myself for gaining the pounds. I went for buffets and chose not to exercise. But I knew I can cause my downfall if I don't watch my health. It wasn't easy, because I had to force myself to exercise. It wasn't easy, because I'm not sure if my efforts will translate into results.

Getting out of my comfort zones are never easy. But it's never the easy things that make me a man.

Poor-Obsolete-Stupid-Bank (P-O-S-B)

Poor

I am actually contented if the bank stays as a poor-man's bank. I'm fine with it because I'm not exactly a rich man. However, it should be noted that there are also other commoners' banks in the local market. Moreover, I felt P-O-S-B has become poorer in terms of queue times and service standards.

Obsolete

It's becoming a white elephant with its ATMs. I thought ATMs are supposed to assist their employees in terms of automating the administrative processes. But I am often at the wrong end of broken-down ATMs - either not being able to withdraw/deposit cash or carry out any transactions. Today, I became a serious victim of it - the passbook update machine swallowed my book. No signs were given. Other passer-bys tried to insert their books into an OK-looking machine whilst I was hoping that it will spit my book out.

Stupid

I called the helpline number listed at the ATM. I seriously think the helpine is in need of a revamp. There are so many options for me to listen through, e.g. for XXX, press 1; ... ; for YYY, press 5. I had to spend 3 desperate minutes listening through the options, only to find that none is for a spoilt ATM. I waited another 5 more minutes on the helpline that seemed to need more help in their 'manning'. Finally, I was attended by an heavily Indian-accented guy who told me that the bank will mail back the book within 7 working days.

Bank

Is this a bank? I need the book for an important appointment with a government agency 3 days later. Though I doubt the government agency is any better than the bank, I am praying that there will not any screw-ups. As of now, I question the need of a bank. Afterall, the interest rates are so low that I question if the bank is doing what it was founded to do in the 1st place.

127 Hours

127 Hours is the true story of mountain climber Aron Ralston's remarkable adventure to save himself after a fallen boulder crashes on his arm and traps him in an isolated canyon in Utah. Over the next five days Ralston examines his life and survives the elements to finally discover he has the courage and the wherewithal to extricate himself by any means necessary, scale a 65 foot wall and hike over eight miles before he can be rescued. Throughout his journey, Ralston recalls friends, lovers, family, and the two hikers he met before his accident.

3 life-provoking thoughts learnt from the movie:
1. Why do people have to wait till their dying moments to 'show love' to their precious ones? I believe in showing love and appreciation everyday as we should live each day as if it's our last. In that way, we do not have to leave the world with regrets.

2. One will muster all  his energy in order to live. Ralston came up with endless methods to free himself. I guess when one is facing death, one will have the innate ability to fight till one's last breath. I ask myself - must we wait till the realisation of death, then are we willing to give it our best? Can we lower the conditions so that we can give our best in a more frequent manner?

3. Ralston hopes for someone to rescue him. Those most likely candidates are 2 women he met earlier that day who know that he is in the canyon, or his boss Brion, who may list him as missing if he doesn't show up for his scheduled work time on Tuesday (3 days away). Always tell your loved ones where you will be heading. This will reduce unneccessary worry whilst providing a point of contact, should there be emergencies. 

A side note - 108 hours away from Singapore and I'm finally back yesterday.