Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Losing 'it'

I am leaving my current company. The approval from the management has been given. As I came to terms with my resignation, I experienced a mix of feelings as I prepare for my transition. Today was yet another set of feelings.

GC asked me to carry out 2 tasks today - (i) Submission of a feasibility study, (ii) Reconcilliation of the manning figures. As I sit down and try to focus on the 2 tasks ahead of me, I realise that it was getting harder to carry out the duties at work.

The 'it' refers to the willingness to work. I know it wasn't just today. The 'it' has been manifesting by itself over the past week. The first tell-tale sign was dragging myself out of the house in recent mornings. Thereafter, I realised that I have forgotten how to read e-mails. I also discovered that there are many imperfections at the workplace which I have suddenly chose to accept.

At the end of today, I completed both tasks, with imperfections and barely on time. As I prepare to exit this company, I know I should leave on a positive note. But being professional is not an easy job, as I have lost the element of passion.

But I know I didn't suffer the biggest loss. The company did. They lost a positive, professional and passionate man.

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