Saying NO a nice way

Saying NO a nice way? Can there be a way of rejecting someone politely?

S called me several times before. We communicated via sms before too. S called me because she is down and yet also interested in me. But we never once went on a date together. I knew the consequences, for she is not my type of girl and I did not want to give the wrong impression.

Recently, she called again. I guessed she picked up the courage again. This time, she asked, in a more blatant manner, whether I will give her a chance. What chance? I told her that we are not even friends. I added that we should try being friends first, before we discuss about giving chance to a possible relationship.

Maybe some girls just don't get it. The question about 'giving chances' was repeated for 5 times. Time and time again, I had to explain what a friendship comprises, and hinted that I am far from being interested. Afterall, I had explained to her on a similar issue several months ago.

I was at my wits end. I paused & searched for the best possible answer. "I am interested in another girl right now." That said it all. I added, "I am hoping to focus on this."

That crushed most of her hopes. A little still lingered. Will that lingering hope come and haunt me again?

Sighs, it's an art to say no. Saying NO the most direct way is blunt and cruel. More importantly, I learnt that there's never a nice way to say no. Either I learn to reject others or regret will learn to find me.

Desperation Drives Defiance

DEFIANCE is a movie about World War II. In the year 1941, the Jews were being massacred. Escaping death, 3 brothers take refuge in the forest. They lived a pathetic life, as they feared being discovered and have to content with daily issues of food and hygiene. Yet they hang in there, struggling through the cold winter, in the hope that one day, they will come out alive when the war has ended. They were desperate; these were hungry people who have thoughts of seeking revenge against the Germans. DESPERATION gives them the DRIVE to achieve many things - building a community, surviving the harsh winter and learning to fight. The act of DEFIANCE is a movie of a community that survived against all odds.

When one is desperate, he will be driven to defy the conventions so that he can find a way out. That is our human reaction to survival. Am I hungry enough to have the will to take my chances?

New In Town

This movie is planned to capture the lover's attention as it was released prior to Valentine's Day. Lucy was a high achiever in a big corporate company. She was sent from Miami to Minnesota to restructure the manufacturing plant and retrench half the staff. The task turned out more difficult than what she anticipated and she hatched unconventional plans to save the peoples' jobs instead.

In Singapore, things are so much more different. Every day, there would be news of economic uncertainty, companies doing badly and governments running deficits. It also includes increasing retrenchment numbers that add to a domino effect of the downward spiralling economy.

It isn't easy running a company. I can understand why there is a need to do away with the workers to trim costs. But as each and every company does that, it doesn't help the economy. This crisis started in Sep 08. Today it has worsened. Tomorrow doesn't look any sunnier. It isn't about hope anymore, it is about survival.

The Underworld

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is a movie who delves in the blood feud between the vampires and the werewolves. A young werewolf struggles to emerge as a powerful leader who rallies the rest of the werewolves to rise up against the cruel vampire king.
I turned my thoughts from the movie to reality. I realised that the movie & reality are no different. To the surface, the world seems like a beautiful place to live in. But deep beneath, there are struggles and politcal feuds. People take sides. People take U for a ride. People get U involved in a fight. Who are your friends? Who are your fiends? You never know who you should fend.

The world is an underworld. I have to be on my toes, else I get hurled.

Making Stories come to Life

Inkheart - a movie that involves a father who has an amazing talent to bring characters out of their books. Together with his daughter, he must try to stop a freed villain from destroying them all.

Storytelling - a skill that I like to develop. I have undertaken speeches on Storytelling. But I had stopped for 4 months already. Maybe I should start that again. Afterall, this movie did tickled my thoughts on being a great storyteller.

I know I can be a good storyteller. Just that I need inspiration, efforts, scripts n a kick in my ass to get me moving. Nothing is stopping my progress towards being a better 'folktales' speaker. Only my lazy mouth is....

DOUBT the movie

Doubt is a classic movie where one requires a significant level of intellectual ability to understand and appreciate the show.

As I watch this show - it brings upon me how perceptions are easily formed in one's mind. It was 1964. There was a vibrant and charismatic priest who might have sexually abused a new boy. But these are just suspicions. Sister Aloysius was adamant that he was guilty and was determined to challenge him, even though she doesn't have any evidence.

Doubt comes about because there is suspect about the matter. The question then is HOW can we eliminate doubt.
The answer - manage people's perception about the matter. Father Flynn struggled to give a straight face as he repelled the accusations. It must have been tiring. Nevertheless, it's important to control DOUBT, or else matters will get way too LOUD.

Love Matters

I watched this recent Jack Neo's local production. Afterall, his movies are always well-suited for a Singaporean setting. This time, he had a clever play of words with his movie title. Is he talking about 'Issues of the Heart' or 'Love is Important'?

There are 3 mini-stories embedded in this story. I related myself best with Jeremy, the younger brother of Bo Seng. He lives a colourful life, colourful in reference to his long list of girlfriends. “Never to commit” is his motto for love. When he met his Miss Right, he was somewhat ready to give up his swinging life, but yet apprehensive about it.

I asked myself - I am now single & currently going out on dates with females. Afterall, it's interesting and intriguing to meet ladies from all walks of life, from teachers to marketeers to bankers. I'm happy with my carefree and non-committal stand on relationships.

But I asked myself - When Miss Right comes along, would I be ready to give up what I am enjoying now? Would I be willing to commit? Would I even be sure that she is the one?

Maybe Jack Neo was referring to 'Issues of the Heart' afterall...

Winning the War

I used to think that winning is all about hard work & attitude. The movie 'Red Cliff 2' taught me otherwise.

In the movie, Zhuge Liang made 2 strategic decisions. (I) He looked at the sky above and predicted that there would be a fog in 3 days. He then promised Zhou Yu that he would deliver 100,000 arrows in 3 days instead of 10 days. On the 3rd day, he set sail towards Cao Cao's navy. Their 2 admirals noticed the incoming fleet and fired arrows amidst the fog. However, they did not engage nor give chase to the ships when they retreated. This is for fear that an ambush awaits them in such weather conditions.

(II) In the preparation for the war at Red Cliff, Zhuge Liang first advised them that they should delay their attack and await for the wind change. This would assist in their battle whereby the use of fire, combined with perfect wind conditions, would enable his allied forces to overcome Cao Cao's larger troop strength.

2 important decisions - 2 decisive victories. The fundamental difference that Zhuge Liang has - the ability to interpret the weather and plan his next move. I ask myself - it's no longer the attitude nor hard work. To be a victor, how can I master the art of reading the environment and strategise my next move?