Fearing the Unknown

This morning, I took a test. Because of its importance, I have made many special arrangements for it. The efforts range from going to work the night before to clear my work, discussing with gf on how to do well, going to the doctor to obtain an MC on that day.

The 1st half of the test went smoothly. But I faltered at the difficult questions towards the end. Before I knew it, the test was over. As I left, I felt I could have done better, but there wasn't any 10-year series qns on this sort of test. I wondered if there was anything I could have done better, like getting more sleep before the test or giving more thought to the qns before I answered.

Now comes the results. And because the results will only be out tomorrow, I fear how it would turn out to be. The result can only be a PASS or a FAIL. I wanted a PASS, so there I was, fearing the unknown. The hope for a PASS was evident, but there was nothing I could do today, except to worry about it. As much as I tell myself that the results are out-of-my-control, I still pray for a positive outcome.

Half the waiting time has passed. The other half awaits me tomorrow. As I wait anxiously for the results to be 'released', I can only wish that it turns out positive. For if I pass, a brighter future awaits me; and if I fail, a final execution beckons...

Learning to Lead

I started this entry on a confused note. This was because whilst I am the leader of my Toastmasters Club, I feel that I am losing the ability to lead my members. Being a leader is no easy job. Whilst we only hear of success stories of great leaders, I am sure that there are a hundred failed stories for every successful one.

Art of saying NO - As a leader, I get many ideas, ranging from volunteering in external events to insistence in running things their way. I learnt that I have to stand firm and not waver in the decisions I make. I have to turn down people's suggestion in a tactical way.

Optimism - As a leader, I would face 'last-minute' surprises & 11th-hour pull-outs. Barely 6 months into my reign, I have faced countless situations of such nature. Counting back, I even had to withstand 6 such 'no-shows' from the same person. I learnt that I have to look at the bright side of things. Maybe such occurrences will make me a stronger man, as I attempt to rally my team to dream only of the positives and possibilities.
Today, I am learning to lead. As I fail, I stand up again. I am just not sure how badly I will fall the next time round.

UP into our dreams

I watched the movie UP. It was an animated movie. When I decided to buy the tickets for this simplistic movie, little did I expect myself to tear in the midst of a couple of touching scenes. Reflecting on the movie, I figured that the producer ensured that all of us didn't waste our time watching a 'cartoon'. As adults, we were engaged into the movie because it allows us to relate ourselves to the character played by Carl Fredrickson. Carl grew up as a young inquisitive boy in a small town. He was energetic and even dreamt of being a pilot. He wanted to travel round the world. Along the way, he met with a girl, Ellie, who shared his dreams. Together, they wanted to go to exotic places, such as the natural waterfalls in South America.
They started to save to achieve their dreams. But time flies and they aged without achieving what they dreamt of so vividly years ago. They had to postpone their dreams time & time again, with reasons such as house maintenance, insurance, retrenchment, medical expenses, etc. Ellie eventually passed away. Only then he realised that he had to live his dream & fulfil what both of them set out to achieve in the 1st place.
I asked myself - how determined do I go about fulfilling my dreams? Maybe I should even question how concrete my dream is. Are our dreams as transient as clouds or are they as solid as a rock? Carl & Ellie started their dream by having a scrapbook to visualise what they would do. Should I start one too?

Singapore

The day was 9 Aug, 1965. That was the day Singapore gained its independence. It was a day in which we celebrated. But if we looked back then, the critics said that Singapore would not be able to survive. It was a small island, with no natural resources. As backward as Malaysia then, it comprises mainly of migrants who came from all over the world. There were coolies from India, labourers from China and businessmen from England.

But that was probably its greatest strength too. For these people wanted to make Singapore not just their home, but their best home to live in. 44 years has passed since then. Today, Singapore is one of the most developed countries in the world. Singapore has surpassed what critics have ever have imagined.
I asked myself - can I turn my weakness into a strength? Years from now, would I stay the same or would I have transformed into someone so polished and defined? The answer lies within me. How about U?

Leaders make a difference

Recently, my boss give a lashing to several subordinates. It wasn't directed at anyone in particular, as no names were mentioned. However, those harsh comments were meant for a department who hasn't performed well for the past week. There had been a spate of mishandlings and delays. It was coupled with increasing customer complaints.

My boss was harsh, but I felt he did the right thing. Whilst it seemed like open humiliation, it serves as a reminder to all of us that we should be accountable for our own actions. He reminded all of us that we are leaders in our own departments / areas. When there are problems, we should be pro-active to resolve it. Pushing the blame to other people is not what we should do; looking at where we have gone wrong and how we can move on is what we could do. Leaders made a difference.

I read a article a couple of days ago. It states that great leaders empower others. They know that work gives people a sense of identity and therefore ensure that their people believe that the work they do is meaningful and that they have ownership of their jobs. To empower others requires confidence that allows others to be great. Effective leaders empower people by giving them automony, allowing them to demonstrate their competencies, providing them with opportunities to grow, and making them feel that what they do matters to the organisation and the wider community.
I look at myself. I am a leader in my own ways. The question here is how great am I as a leader and and how big a difference I make?

Harry Potter has grown

Recently, I watched Harry Potter and the half-blooded prince. It was an interesting sequel that should turn out to be this year's blockbuster. In this movie, Harry is now into his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft. However, his tasks have became more treacherous, as in both wizard and muggle worlds Lord Volemort and his henchmen are increasingly active. Together with Dumbledore, he hopes to have the power to defeat the evil.

The good will triumph. In this case, Harry required the assistance of Dumbledore. The old, wise wizard was his mentor. Time and time again, he would help him, give him insights & advice him. That led to Harry's growth, as he grasp how complicated his world has become. I have a mentor, FL. He has made me who I am today. I have acknowledged his teachings. Over the past 4 years, I have watched myself grown from an infant to a man with deep thoughts. But one day, the time will come when he will leave me. And when that happens, I will learn to fend for myself. Will I survive? Will my skills continue to get better? Just as will Harry survive when Dumbledore's time is up? Maybe a vial of Felix Felicis will do the trick.

Drag me to hell

I watched the movie - Drag Me to Hell. To be frank, a horror movie doesn't need to have any plot. But I am a habit of reflection after watching every movie. So as I sit down and ponder about it, a short scene from the movie came into mind.
Christine Brown, a mild-mannered loan officer in Los Angeles, hopes to be promoted to assistant manager over her conniving co-worker, Stu Rubin. Christine's boss, Mr. Jacks, advises her that she needs to demonstrate that she can make tough decisions when she needs to. That same day, Mrs. Sylvia Ganush, an elderly gypsy woman, asks for a third extension on her mortgage because she is struggling with economic problems due to an illness. To prove herself to Mr. Jacks, Christine, against her better judgment, decides to deny Ganush the extension. Mr. Jacks compliments Christine on how she handled the situation and implies that if she can close another big loan, the assistant manager position will be hers. I ask myself - how often are there office politics in the workplace? Fights over promotion, gossiping, sabotage, backstabbing, etc - the list of dirty laundry an office can be unlimited. I consider myself a mild-mannered person, but even I am not spared from office politics.

Today, I became a punching bag. Because of my ignorance, I failed to understand that people will only fend for themselves. Today, I realised - I must learn to play the game, or else I will be dragged to HELL.

Terminator Salvation

I watched Termination Salvation. It was the year 2018, where John Connor participates in a major Resistance to assault a Skynet network in order to obtain classified data and rescue the prisoners. John has to communicate with groups of resistance fighters and inspire them that there is hope against these advanced machines. It was an action-packed movie, whereby it never failed to keep me excited throughout the whole duration.

Whilst it was a fight between the outnumbered humans and the physically stronger robots, we would have known that the good triumphs over the evil. It wasn't as simple as that. For the humans could have give up the fight. The humans were weak and much weaker in numbers. But they knew that the war must continue, for them to rescue their friends who have been kept captive as prisoners and to save their own mankind from extinction. Humans do not give up so easily.

What struck me was this quote - The difference between humans and robots is the heart.

How true this is. We must all know this, for ignoring this means we are living each day with a robotised routine. How often do we shower concern for our loved ones, appreciate our friends and understand our colleagues?