Why I love blogging

Blogging - I figured out why I blog. I blog not to showcase my life, I blog not to bitch about my enemies, I blog not to show photos of my daily activities. I blog because these Internet journals allow me to reflect. This is a process that I have learnt to appreciate more, with each post. My blog allows me to reflect on issues and enables me to look at the larger scheme of life.

Blogging lets me talk to myself & lets me take stock on all the daily issues that surrounds me. Blogging keeps me sane in an insane world.

Real but Incomplete Me

Ling and me were having a conversation. I told Ling that I have a complex mind. Ling told me that she has yet to see the real me. I paused. The REAL me! I knew I had to correct her, for the REAL me is standing right beside her. How can she be seeing a FAKE me, for I know I have been getting more REAL than before? For being REAL means accepting oneself and being happy with every action one does.

I knew I am happier by the moment. I do things I like & my happiness-index grows with each day. I love myself more each day. For that, I know that is the REAL me, for I do not stay in jobs I detest nor do things I dislike.

I told Ling that she has not seen a COMPLETE me. It took me some brain cells to figure why that is so. Friends will only see the 'surface' me. That's why they are not buddies nor confidant. But more importantly, I am incomplete. And that is because I have so many goals I want to achieve - so much so that it might take a lifetime.

The COMPLETE me - when will that be? Probably a lifetime. But is it that important to immediately fix up the jigsaw puzzle of me? Nah, I reckon it's more important to treasure the process to enjoy the success.

Confusingly Single

I am single. I have no girlfriend. I chose not to get attached. This was a conscious decision I made last year after I broke off from my last relationship.

I enjoy the advantages of being SINGLE. (i) More time to myself, (ii) Unlimited socialising and getting to know new friends, (iii) No need to report to my significant other constantly, (iv) Occasionally flirting, and (v) Going out for drinks & staying up real late.

Chinese New Year came. Speaking to relatives is a must. Questions of my marriage came. I was firm in my answer - that I need to find a gf first before inviting them for marriage. My expectations of a gf are high. My search might be long. My heart couldn't have been ready. I know I chose to be single. But why is my heart yearning for a girlfriend so that I could look forward to what couples do?

Is my heart confused or is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?

Drinking makes it Interesting

I have the thinking that drinking will not cure any sorrows. I am aging and it only makes sense that I grow out of my drinking habits. I had wished to lead a proper and priest-like life.

However, I had a wild night last Thursday. I went for a drinking session at Lunar (Clarke Quay). I was initially sceptical as I doubt my age & my new friends. But my doubts were unfounded. My friends were fun. The band was great. The club had 1-for-1 drinks.

I asked myself - DRINKING: good or bad? It depends. Drinking to get drunk is bad, but drinking to have fun is not bad. On a stressful week, it helps bring down the level of my stress-o-meter & restarts my next day on a better mood. Oh manz, I'm craving for my bottle of Champagne.

Politics

Obama was inaugurated on Jan 20 as the US president. He makes a powerful speech and inspires the commoners, the United States and the world. His voice resonates. He is a world politician.

Back in my work yard, there is another politics - office politics. K starts complaining. R blows and exaggerates the matter. Now, what seemingly was a small issue of K's inefficiency becomes my PROBLEM - that I see my boss over small matters. His voice irritates. He is a world-class politicker.

I love to understand the world politics, but I hate to get involved in these trashy politicking. Can someone just make this world a nicer place to live in?

Boo away my Blues

Today is a Monday. There came (i) the fear of facing a week ahead and (ii) the thought of Monday Blues coming all over me. I went to work, as per usual. But today was a busy day, whereby I worked my butts off, ranging from finalising my minutes, working on my slides, setting appointments, doing my intern's administration, etc.

In a twinkling of an eye, my day was over. I even stayed back two hours to complete my work. The end of it all - work satisfaction, with no thoughts about Monday Blues. Liking my work and doing it well - that's a recipe for BOOing away my Monday BLUES.

Something Special

I had a short chat with Mrs P the other night. During the conversation, she told me to ask her 1 burning question on any topic. I paused and then I asked, "what's the something special that U want to achieve this year, besides involving ur normal routine - i.e. ur routine job, your husband and toastmasters?"

She paused. Her reply came, only after some time. But I know it wasn't an easy qn. It was a tough qn that I had always avoided. I couldn't try to answer it. Maybe I am not an adventurous person. Maybe I don't want to write & break any more resolutions. Maybe I am living in a world of escapism.

But I am beginning to face the qn again - a question of how to live my life in a more meaningful and different way in 2009.

Create and Shatter

In seven days God created the world., in seven seconds I shattered mine. - BEN THOMAS from Seven Pounds

I asked myself - the world is created as a beautiful place, but have we ever treasured it? Have we ever appreciate each day and not destroy our time and hurt the people around the world?

Ben took just 7 seconds to destroy what he has built up over the years - his wife, his family, his home, his wealth & himself. I could have been in his shoes too. I could be the one who have destroyed everything, but have somewhat always scrapped through.

I asked myself - what will it take for me to treasure my world? Must I lose everything for me to treasure what I have lost? Why can't I just love every little thing I used to take for granted?

The ability to stay humble

Ip Man was the movie that inspired me to write this post. Today, I learnt that the power of humbleness.
Ip Man was a kungfu master in Foshan. During the 1930s, there were many kungfu masters plying their trade. The great Ip Man invented the Wing Chun style of kungfu, but never sold his trade aggressively. In fact, gangsters come and pick fights with him.

He always reject their challenges. He only fought when he was challenged upon. His humbleness striked me, despite the fact he was a grandmaster in martial arts. I ask myself - how many people has the ability to be remain down to earth, even when one is famous or popular? Who has the sanity to stay strong to his principles at all times, even in moments of life and death?

2009 vs 2008

A new year has come. It got me to reflect on my past year's achievements. As I thought about it, there are many achievements, probably a bit far too many.

For 2009, I should just be focused and narrow down the things I want to achieve in life. 2008 has been a year of trying. Come 2009 and this shall be a year of stablising, whereby I seek to run into equilibrium with my life goals.

This will take time. And I have a whole year worth of time to get my life, my emotions, my thoughts, my masters and my career STABLISED.

Bedtime stories

Bedtime Stories is an adventure comedy about a hotel handyman whose life is changed forever when the bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew start to mysteriously come true. When he tries to help his family by telling one outlandish tale after another, it's the kids' unexpected contributions that turn all their lives upside down.

This heartwarming yet comical movie reminds me of the stories we tell to ourselves. How many stories do we often tell ourselves?

Not many, as I recollect. I wondered - why are we not telling more stories to ourselves? Are we boring grown-ups who do not believe in imagination and visualisation? Are we just too drawn into our daily routine that we lost the will to break free from it?

And even if we tell ourselves bedtime stories, how many times did we allow the kids (and the surroundings) to take control of our stories? Maybe we are not convinced by our own stories that our fate is left in their destiny?