Learning to Lead

I started this entry on a confused note. This was because whilst I am the leader of my Toastmasters Club, I feel that I am losing the ability to lead my members. Being a leader is no easy job. Whilst we only hear of success stories of great leaders, I am sure that there are a hundred failed stories for every successful one.

Art of saying NO - As a leader, I get many ideas, ranging from volunteering in external events to insistence in running things their way. I learnt that I have to stand firm and not waver in the decisions I make. I have to turn down people's suggestion in a tactical way.

Optimism - As a leader, I would face 'last-minute' surprises & 11th-hour pull-outs. Barely 6 months into my reign, I have faced countless situations of such nature. Counting back, I even had to withstand 6 such 'no-shows' from the same person. I learnt that I have to look at the bright side of things. Maybe such occurrences will make me a stronger man, as I attempt to rally my team to dream only of the positives and possibilities.
Today, I am learning to lead. As I fail, I stand up again. I am just not sure how badly I will fall the next time round.

UP into our dreams

I watched the movie UP. It was an animated movie. When I decided to buy the tickets for this simplistic movie, little did I expect myself to tear in the midst of a couple of touching scenes. Reflecting on the movie, I figured that the producer ensured that all of us didn't waste our time watching a 'cartoon'. As adults, we were engaged into the movie because it allows us to relate ourselves to the character played by Carl Fredrickson. Carl grew up as a young inquisitive boy in a small town. He was energetic and even dreamt of being a pilot. He wanted to travel round the world. Along the way, he met with a girl, Ellie, who shared his dreams. Together, they wanted to go to exotic places, such as the natural waterfalls in South America.
They started to save to achieve their dreams. But time flies and they aged without achieving what they dreamt of so vividly years ago. They had to postpone their dreams time & time again, with reasons such as house maintenance, insurance, retrenchment, medical expenses, etc. Ellie eventually passed away. Only then he realised that he had to live his dream & fulfil what both of them set out to achieve in the 1st place.
I asked myself - how determined do I go about fulfilling my dreams? Maybe I should even question how concrete my dream is. Are our dreams as transient as clouds or are they as solid as a rock? Carl & Ellie started their dream by having a scrapbook to visualise what they would do. Should I start one too?

Singapore

The day was 9 Aug, 1965. That was the day Singapore gained its independence. It was a day in which we celebrated. But if we looked back then, the critics said that Singapore would not be able to survive. It was a small island, with no natural resources. As backward as Malaysia then, it comprises mainly of migrants who came from all over the world. There were coolies from India, labourers from China and businessmen from England.

But that was probably its greatest strength too. For these people wanted to make Singapore not just their home, but their best home to live in. 44 years has passed since then. Today, Singapore is one of the most developed countries in the world. Singapore has surpassed what critics have ever have imagined.
I asked myself - can I turn my weakness into a strength? Years from now, would I stay the same or would I have transformed into someone so polished and defined? The answer lies within me. How about U?

Leaders make a difference

Recently, my boss give a lashing to several subordinates. It wasn't directed at anyone in particular, as no names were mentioned. However, those harsh comments were meant for a department who hasn't performed well for the past week. There had been a spate of mishandlings and delays. It was coupled with increasing customer complaints.

My boss was harsh, but I felt he did the right thing. Whilst it seemed like open humiliation, it serves as a reminder to all of us that we should be accountable for our own actions. He reminded all of us that we are leaders in our own departments / areas. When there are problems, we should be pro-active to resolve it. Pushing the blame to other people is not what we should do; looking at where we have gone wrong and how we can move on is what we could do. Leaders made a difference.

I read a article a couple of days ago. It states that great leaders empower others. They know that work gives people a sense of identity and therefore ensure that their people believe that the work they do is meaningful and that they have ownership of their jobs. To empower others requires confidence that allows others to be great. Effective leaders empower people by giving them automony, allowing them to demonstrate their competencies, providing them with opportunities to grow, and making them feel that what they do matters to the organisation and the wider community.
I look at myself. I am a leader in my own ways. The question here is how great am I as a leader and and how big a difference I make?

Harry Potter has grown

Recently, I watched Harry Potter and the half-blooded prince. It was an interesting sequel that should turn out to be this year's blockbuster. In this movie, Harry is now into his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft. However, his tasks have became more treacherous, as in both wizard and muggle worlds Lord Volemort and his henchmen are increasingly active. Together with Dumbledore, he hopes to have the power to defeat the evil.

The good will triumph. In this case, Harry required the assistance of Dumbledore. The old, wise wizard was his mentor. Time and time again, he would help him, give him insights & advice him. That led to Harry's growth, as he grasp how complicated his world has become. I have a mentor, FL. He has made me who I am today. I have acknowledged his teachings. Over the past 4 years, I have watched myself grown from an infant to a man with deep thoughts. But one day, the time will come when he will leave me. And when that happens, I will learn to fend for myself. Will I survive? Will my skills continue to get better? Just as will Harry survive when Dumbledore's time is up? Maybe a vial of Felix Felicis will do the trick.

Drag me to hell

I watched the movie - Drag Me to Hell. To be frank, a horror movie doesn't need to have any plot. But I am a habit of reflection after watching every movie. So as I sit down and ponder about it, a short scene from the movie came into mind.
Christine Brown, a mild-mannered loan officer in Los Angeles, hopes to be promoted to assistant manager over her conniving co-worker, Stu Rubin. Christine's boss, Mr. Jacks, advises her that she needs to demonstrate that she can make tough decisions when she needs to. That same day, Mrs. Sylvia Ganush, an elderly gypsy woman, asks for a third extension on her mortgage because she is struggling with economic problems due to an illness. To prove herself to Mr. Jacks, Christine, against her better judgment, decides to deny Ganush the extension. Mr. Jacks compliments Christine on how she handled the situation and implies that if she can close another big loan, the assistant manager position will be hers. I ask myself - how often are there office politics in the workplace? Fights over promotion, gossiping, sabotage, backstabbing, etc - the list of dirty laundry an office can be unlimited. I consider myself a mild-mannered person, but even I am not spared from office politics.

Today, I became a punching bag. Because of my ignorance, I failed to understand that people will only fend for themselves. Today, I realised - I must learn to play the game, or else I will be dragged to HELL.

Terminator Salvation

I watched Termination Salvation. It was the year 2018, where John Connor participates in a major Resistance to assault a Skynet network in order to obtain classified data and rescue the prisoners. John has to communicate with groups of resistance fighters and inspire them that there is hope against these advanced machines. It was an action-packed movie, whereby it never failed to keep me excited throughout the whole duration.

Whilst it was a fight between the outnumbered humans and the physically stronger robots, we would have known that the good triumphs over the evil. It wasn't as simple as that. For the humans could have give up the fight. The humans were weak and much weaker in numbers. But they knew that the war must continue, for them to rescue their friends who have been kept captive as prisoners and to save their own mankind from extinction. Humans do not give up so easily.

What struck me was this quote - The difference between humans and robots is the heart.

How true this is. We must all know this, for ignoring this means we are living each day with a robotised routine. How often do we shower concern for our loved ones, appreciate our friends and understand our colleagues?

How perfect is LOVE?

There is an increasing trend on the number of singles today. The trend persists even after goverment efforts to promote love through organisations such as SDU and SDS and festivals such as Romancing Singapore. The question here is why many Singaporeans fail to heed the goverment's call. One could think of many possible reasons, amongst which (i) we are too choosy, (ii) we want to wait for Mr/Miss Right, (iii) there is a long list of criteria that the partner must fulfil. Are we a nation full of singles because we are taking a long time to find that perfect one?

If we were to analyse the other side of the coin, we see an increasing trend of divorce rates too. The thought that marriage would translate to a happy couple-life has gone so wrong. Why so? A couple of reasons could be (i) we hope to change the bad habits that our partner has, and (ii) we start to hate our partners' pecularities that we used to like. Are we trying too hard to make our partners the ideal Mr Right?

I choose to think that love is a special power that only the greatest can possess. Love is about accepting your partner's flaws and tolerating his/her nonsense. If she can discovering that snoring is cute and he likes to hear her nagging, that is what I called LOVE. Therefore, not many people can display love. For love is unearthing how perfect your partner can be.

Love is not about finding the perfect one, nor is it about perfecting the one you found. It is about finding your imperfect one perfect.

Where are the goals?

I have been leading a fulfiling life, making myself busy with appointments and living life to the fullest. But I have this incomplete feeling in me. As I look ahead, I realise I am in need of targets to challenge myself.

Maybe all I need is to sit down in a quiet corner, away from the eyes of strangers. A place where I could just stare into the blank spaces and ask the worth of my existence. Where can I find a place?

Life is just like a soccer match. The match is won when one manage to score the goals. Life is just the same. Victory is achieved only when one achieves his goals.

The Feeling of Volunteering

For the past week, there was a resurgence of a feeling - that I would like to participate in a overseas volunteer trip. I used to think of that. I wished that I could go overseas to a third world country, as part of a bigger group to help the poor out there. This feeling re-appeared strongly - maybe it's time for me to realise this long-lost wish.

I asked myself why I want to do such an overseas trip and here are my reasons:

1. I love traveling & this is a good way of exploring sights I could have never done on my own.

2. I want to help the poor. Assisting them could take the form of building a road, fundraising or teaching them English. In whatever ways I could contribute, this would bring a smile to my face as I would have known that I have contributed to make the world a better place.

3. I want to learn life's valuable lessons. Staying in one's comfort zone will get me nowhere. Only walking the road less traveled would I learn that even life's basic needs, such as water and food, must be treasured and appreciated.

4. I love children and I love to watch them grow. What better way is there if I could teach these appreciative kids and know that they will put the new-found knowledge to good use.

5. I want to see myself grow. Growth is one of my personal values. The best way to grow in a fun way is to challenge myself in a new environment.

6. I want to live my life. I told myself that I have a choice - to live my life or regret. I chose the former. Years down the road, I want to look back and tell myself that I have treasured each day. My children will come to me and say, 'Dad, tell us another of your stories'.

For the past week, I discovered why I want to volunteer. Do I have to know how to do it? I realise I don't have to figure it out, because the strength in my new-found passion will lead me the way.

My body is crumbling

Today, I worked hard at all. It wasn't my most productive day, However, considering that I wasn't in my peak form, it was commendable that I gave it all I have.

I was down with fever and cough last week. I have been suffering from sleepless nights. My cough was so bad that I was coughing persistently as I watched Angels & Demons. I felt a sense of helplessness. Random thoughts of 'escapism' filled my head as I wondered about the possibility of applying for no-pay leave. Dreams of getting myself away onto a beautiful beach resort keeps me apart for the harsh reality. What is my body and heart alluding to? Is my mind losing the fight? Or does it not understand what my heart wants?

For the past week, my crumbling body has been hinting to my mind. Are these hints or is my body weak?

Get the hint from Angels & Demons?

In the movie Angels and Demons, Tom Hanks acted as a world-renownedHarvard symbologist. He was asked by the Vatican City to help solve the Illuminati's threat, save the four preferratti and save the City from being destroyed. To do that, he had to unravel the symbols of ancient Churches, de-code the hidden meanings of the Illuminati message and be sensitive to clues that could be useful in saving the city or the next preferrati to be killed.

Indeed he was a smart and intellectual person. Asking the question upon us, how sensitive are we to details? When life drops you a clue, would U be able to pick up the clue & understand what it meant? When you fall and slip, would U take the hint and tell your body to take a break so that it could recuperate? When you fail, would U take the hint and learn from your failures so that it will not repeat? When your plans are foiled, would U take the hint and learn that something is amiss?

How often do we keep a lookout for these 'symbols'? Or have we been trained to be deaf and blind?

Connected or in love?

I had an interesting coffee session cum dinner yesterday with a friend yesterday. It was engaging because we talked on a range of topics for 4 hours. It was inspiring because we shared on our dreams and our motivation in life. It was lovely because we are open with each other about our take on each and every issue.

The session was memorable. Was it because I feel connected? It came across as a rare chance that I could find a companion that my heart could open up to. Maybe the fact that we share common interest and even values in life make the session so lively.

Or was it something more on the way? Was there a feeling of 'love' in the air? Afterall, such relationships always start on the basis of character compatibility. I admire her, for she leads with her life with gusto. I like her, for the way she challenges the convention.

Connected or in love? Or maybe I am just feeling lonely. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands that I think too much...

100 posts & still going strong

I am so proud of myself. When I started this blog, I had never thought that I would blog so consistently. But I did.

It started off with a conscious effort. I had to log onto this 'journal' of mine. I had to brainstorm and re-collect my thoughts. I had to re-align my confused and random thoughts. Week after week, it had turned into a habit to blog. My blog was my diary, where I sit down and reflect on the happenings of life.

I like this feeling about blogging. It had turned into a routine with a meaningful objective. For others, the objective could have been to update friends about their activities. For me, the objective is to re-cap and reflect about major thoughts that struck me. Only through such a process did I feel that I have led a more purpose-filled life.

Is this what they call ENLIGHTENMENT?

Many things can lead to nothing

There are so many things I wish to accomplish real now. Amongst the list of tasks are:
- clearing my work and projects
- reviewing my goals for 2009 and 2010
- creating my vision for Toastmasters club
- understanding my fellow toastmasters' needs
- planning for Toastmasters' retreat
- going to Europe (Copenhagen, Zurich, etc)
- a holiday at Hanoi
- going to my dive at Redang
- catching up on my news
- reading my storybooks
- monitor my finances
- pack my room

The list just goes on. The longer the list, the more in despair I feel. It has reached the stage of doing nothing, but just slacking around. Indeed, having too many things to do can lead to doing nothing.

Maybe my body needs a break. Maybe it is a sign from above that I had to break to go the distance. Will the break do me good? Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Only time will tell. The question then will be -'Is it too late?'

A-B-Cs of Impromptu Speaking

Many people fear speaking on an unknown topic, but they might be not sure on what to say. However, in reality, there are many such occasions. We hear friends talking about Nambia, colleagues mentioning about Retirement or interviewers asking you about Global warming.

Allow me to share with you the A-B-Cs to get you started when you are given a topic to partake in:

1. Appease yourself - Pause & not rush into speaking.

We often panic when we are asked to speak. We fear that our audience would be anxiously waiting for us. But we fail to think which is worse - letting them wait for a while or opening their ears to a set of 'rubbish' & unconsolidated thoughts. If we can't do this 1st step of appeasing yourselves, then how would the audience even be pleased?

Tip: Repeat the topic in your head. By repeating it, your mind is focused on this topic. Deliberately pause for 10 seconds. As you pause, continue to breathe deeply.

2. Brainstorm for ideas

More often than not, we speak off the calf, in anticipation that thoughts will form as you speak. That is so wrong. For if you cannot form your thoughts whilst standing, what makes you think you can do it as you face the audience & handle the butterflies in your stomach? My advice would be to form 2 to 3 distinct points before you utter your first word. Some people can achieve 5 points when asked 'What are the attributes of a winner?' And when asked to elaborate, the points are 'perseverance', 'hard work', determination', never-say-die spirit' & 'trying one's best'. Indeed these are 5 points, but they belong to 1 main idea. Rather than worry about elaboration on a main idea, brainstorm for 2 to 3 main ideas. For e.g., I would be thinking 'commitment', 'planning ability' & 'never-say-die spirit'. What are your main ideas?

Tip: Form 2 to 3 distinct points about the topic. They form the content of your speech.

3. Conclude your speech

A mistake most people make is the failure to conclude. They forget that every speech needs a conclusion, regardless of whether it is 10 minutes or a minute. A conclusion is not for you to sound like a nag. It is there to tell your listeners that (a) this is your stand, with a summary of your main points, (b) you are going to end your speech, and (c) the relationship between your points & the title of the speech.

Tip: Don't just walk off the stage or end abruptly. The audience need a final statement from you so that they can appreciate your speech content with a sweet aftertaste.

Now that you have learnt these 3 tips, volunteer yourself at the next table topics session. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect.

Is it just petrol?

I pump petrol at either Caltex or Shell. I have no preference, because I have the respective kiosks' preferred credit card. That means I get discounts, which are increasingly meaningful in times of recession.

However, I haven't brought out my HSBC card for the past week. I then made a conscious decision to have my car filled at Shell, as I still had my UOB credit card. Whilst driving, I reminded myself twice again, as Shell was a tad further than Caltex.

But in a blink of an eye, I find myself standing in front of Shell's cashier, frantically trying to search for my HSBC credit card. What was I doing? Hadn't I just reminded myself? Are reminders not working, as I drove into the 'wrong' kiosk, told the attendant to fill it to the brim and only found out my mistake when I tried to make payment.

Today, I question myself for being distracted,

$2.90 was the extra amount I incurred.

Maybe I was tired or maybe I deserve to be fired.

What has happened to me, as I broke down in tears,

For if I continue living my life in fear,

Tomorrow, I could lose my life, a mistake too dear.

Will I be awake to discover what my heart adheres?

Why get married?

I was having a thought-provoking conversation with Sy yesterday. We talked on a range of topics, one of which was marriage. Why do people get married? Do they do so because they love each other? Do they get hitched because it is the next step after being in a bf-gf relationship for some time? Do they tie the knot because they see that the partner can fulfil their deficiencies?

Do people get married because of the right reasons? If their decision has been deemed right, who can explain the global phenomenon of the increasing divorce rate?

Singaporeans are brought up in a systematic manner. After completing primary school, the logical stop would have to be secondary school education. After which, junior colleges are the preferred choices so that one could end up with a degree. We apply this systematic approach in relationships. After a couple of years into a relationship, the next step would be registering for marriage, looking for houses and planning for a wedding. Add a couple of years more, and it is logical to expect kids. It seems like a A-B-C instructional manual for couples, but do we question the convention? Or are we just following the blind because other people do so?

We feel incomplete at times. It could range from a lack of security to being lonely or feeling hot-tempered. It is those times when one looks into a partner and gets into a relationship just to feel complete. But that is the not the right recipe of a lasting relationship. For getting it to last, one must feel at ease with oneself, accept who he or she really is, before getting into a relationship.

Today, I asked myself. Marriage is a lifetime deicision. It's not as simple as buying food or clothes. Yet how much time do we allocate to ponder on this big issue?

澄梅的时光

I was clearing my stuff when I stumbled upon a letter. It wasn't written on any white piece of paper, but on those arty A5 piece of note pad filled with flowers strewn as its letterhead.

It was a letter by my ex-gf. But it was a letter of complaint, whereby she would vent her frustrations on a piece of paper, about how insensitive & unloving I was. Afterwhich, she would go back to the sweet-loving gf that she would always be. I thought that it's a nice way to getting out those feelings. Afterall, it would have been more disastrous if she has kept it in her heart.

As I read, thoughts of regret filled my mind. I had ignored her feeling and had failed to see her concerns. She was voicing out how she really felt, but I had thought that it was just one of her many moments to air her thoughts.

In the end, I failed to treasure this long-term relationship. Regret filled my mind, as I asked - what if I had given myself a second chance? Would things have turned out differently? Was I too immature then? Or am I just reminiscing those lost moments?

Letting everything go by

As the saying 'Carpe Diem' goes, people would go 'Oh yes!' as they seize the day. Every day, we try to maximise our day, regardless of whether it is at work, at home or being out with our friends.

Today, I ask myself - what if I let everything go by. Would it be a waste of time? What if I do not treasue my time properly and let just watch the world go by...

I used to think that it is a waste of time. But today, I realise that it isn't. For it manages to relax my soul, builds my composure and gives me an insight to the outside world.

I watched the world go by,

I see how time flies,

I looked and asked myself why,

It's coz stopping is something they haven't try.

My world

I asked myself - how do I define this world of mine. It is made up of friends from all walks of life. They come from my secondary school, JC, university, toastmasters, work, social networking, dance classes to even acquaintances that I barely know from Facebook.

Whoever they are, they make up my life. They create this environment for me to live in, thereby proving my existence in this world. I am therefore, a social creature.

Recently, I am asked to be the President of my Toastmasters Club. My heart & mind were at wars with this question. It took me days to figure out the root cause of this 'war'. The cause - Am I willing to sacrifice my WORLD for this honorable duty?

The easy way out would be to remain status quo. But this is also a cowardly approach. So I decide to brainstorm. As I kill a few more braincells on this matter, I asked myself again - What honors do I hope to achieve for the club and myself in the midst of my sacrifice? Determining the honors will give me the light to the value of my worth.

Am I my hero?

There's a hero, if you look into your heart, you don't have to be afraid of what you are. There's an answer, if you reach into your sould, and the sorrows you know will melt away...

And then the hero comes along, am I the hero with the strength to carry on?

I am. Or maybe I am not. I ask myself - there are so many things I want to do in life. Maybe I am just too greedy amidst this economic tsunami. To learn as many things as possible and to experience as many moments as I can. It is just too much in this current climate.

Maybe I am my hero. Maybe I might not have the strength to carry on. So what sort of hero is this? A hero without sufficient stamina or a weak hero to start off with? I might be my HERO. It has saved myself a victory. I looked ahead to see what's next for me to save. Amongst the ocean, I ask - what's my take?

The SUN

I took this picture of the sunset recently, when I was on a holiday. It was beautiful and romantic. That sunset made my day and even my week. Afterall, holidays always manage to take me away from the realism. It will then inject a new life of energy before I come back to fight realism once more.

This perfect sunset scene remain entrenched in my mind. It was scenic and away from the bustlings of the city. The sky was orangy-red and streaks of sunlight beam its way through the clouds. My heart slowed to a steady pace & I felt calm.

Holidays, like the one above, are great for me. I look forward to traveling. The thought of exploring new places rejuvenate me. It is just like the SUN of my life. Today, I recapped how wonderful my recent holiday has been. Today, I looked forward to a pleasant next one. Today, my SUN has come back.

D for ....

D for DOWN
The workload is increasing. I have been asked to assist in operations, when I have yet to complete my powerpoint slides, minutes, letters, etc. How can I ever complete my work? The workload can be described as a rising mountain that inches up everyday, making it harder to scale with each increasing day. I feel DOWN because I am trying my best and I can't see results.

D for DEMORALISED
Today, I got wind that a colleague of mine threw in the towel. I had an engaging one-to-one chat with him later in the evening. He poured his sorrows out to me. I understood him. I feel DEMORALISED because my work place used to be a fun and encouraging environment, but it is losing that appeal with a outflow of friends.

D for DROWNED
Monday - 0830 to 1100 hrs, Tue to Thurs - 1400 to 2230 hrs & Friday - 0830 to 1100 hrs. Saturday isn't much better. I worked last Saturday. I had to do the same this Saturday again. I feel DROWNED because I can't seem to swim myself out of this type of 'lifestyle'.

Memories Make a Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire is a movie about an eighteen year old Jamal Malik who has an amazing answering streak on the Indian version of the television game show, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". He's only one correct question away from the big prize. However, some, including those associated with the game show, question how someone like Jamal, a self confessed non-genius who grew up in the slums of Mumbai, can be doing so well on the show when others who are brighter, more educated and wealthier than him have failed. Is Jamal cheating? Is it purely luck that they have asked him the questions to which he knows the answers? Seeing Jamal's life journey to this point ultimately answers these questions. His life journey includes being orphaned at an early age; growing up with an older brother, Salim; and having a relationship since childhood with another orphaned child, a girl named Latika. His motivation for being on the show also may provide some answers to his success. Perhaps it was all just meant to be.

His memories brought him success. They enabled him to answer the questions needed to be a millionaire. How often has memories make us rich? Will I get a lots of wealth by having experiential learning since childhood?

Memories - though it has not given me 20 million rupees, it has enabled me to grow as an unqiue individual. Though I am poor in terms of my bank accounts, I am rich in terms of my surroundings and daily activities. Though memories has not made me a monetary millionaire, it has given me billionaire moments.

Take it S-L-O-W

I have so many tasks at hand. I have deadlines to meet. I have meetings to prepare for. All this has resulted in an increasingly stressed me. I looked at my rising workload and asked 'will this ever end'?

Maybe it will. Maybe I should not be rushing through all this. Maybe I can do it if I do things 1 at a time - the S-L-O-W way. I figured out a solution. I find a way out for myself - to focus on 1 matter at any 1 point in time. Combining my abilities to priortise and perfect the tasks, taking it S-L-O-W could be the only way out.

S-L-O-W is the way forward. As I struggle to churn out this perfect solution, will time and tide wait for me? Or maybe I should go back to my routine of fighting each day?

Lost and Entangled

I had this disturbing thought in my mind for a long time. But I dare not confront it for the fear of facing the blunt and brutal truth. That I have been getting LOST.

I had been lost for the past 3 months. This feeling deepens. It now has a stranglehold onto me. I am lost because I became more distant with my bigger picture in life. I am lost because I am too busy to think. I am lost because I am contented with what I am doing now.

Family, friends, relationships, toastmasters, work, play, holidays - all these have kept me busy. So busy that I am entangled in my daily activities to reflect on my goals in life. I have a direction. I need to to get down to it. But first and foremost, can I free myself from the spiderweb of daily errands? Or am I getting more entangled as I struggle to break free?

Watch a movie?

My hobbies include watching movies. Movies are great past times which brings me into a different world. It broadens my horizon and yet manages to engages my mind. I would blog after every movie. Each show has allowed me to sit down and ponder. Maybe that is what I called a value-for-money movie.

Recently, I watched Watchmen. It turned out otherwise. It was boring and long. There was no plot, only rapidly switching scenes that kept me confused. The result - I walked out of the theatrette.

Today, I learnt a lesson. I should always read up about the movie before watching it. Not every movie will be a worthwhile one. Watch a movie? Yes, but I would be asking 'watch what movie'.

Not excited for my holiday

I am going for my overseas holiday. I had this planned long ago. Afterall, I foresee that I need a break & the air tickets were cheap then. A 5 day trip away from home, cheap accommodation, value-for-money accommodation. It sounds too good a deal.

But this is the 1st time I am not excited for my holiday trip. I feel as if my mind is bogged down by work. I look at my list of tasks to be done, but I worry about the ability to finish them when I return from my holiday. I worked overtime relentlessly almost everyday. Yesterday I only left office at 11.40pm.

The holiday will do me good in recharging me, but firstly, I must learn to detach myself away from work. The thoughts of this holiday has dampened me. I can only hope that the afterthoughts of this holiday will lighten my mood.

PRIDE will give us the LIGHT

It was an afternoon meeting with our boss. Once again, the tone before the meeting was serious. It's never a laughing matter when it comes to such discussions, let alone one that talks about managing our divisional cost.

Amidst the tension in the air, our boss gave words of inspiration. He talked about the need to stand by our PRIDE.

When he mentioned pride, he clarified, 'It's not about being proud or stuck-up, it's about having passion for our job'. Our division has suffered a drop in revenue in the midst of revenue. Our profits are on the decline. We have made drastic decisions to stay in the black. And he re-iterated to all - that we must do what we can to earn our own salary, we must not let our divisions 'feed' us; only then are we able to keep our heads held high.

I was inspired by his speech. Recent times hasn't been easy for all. His words gave purpose to my reason in the company. It is our PRIDE that will make us FIGHT, it is our PRIDE that will give us the LIGHT, it is our PRIDE that will lead us with MIGHT.